Back in the early 90’s, around 1995 I think, I was on my way into a bar in London, Ontario called “Kiplings” to see The Ramones. I had been
“carded” by the doorman and after I entered I was walking backwards saying to my friend “I can’t believe they ID’d me” when I felt myself bump into someone.

I turned around and found my eyes level with a black leather jacket, followed it up to find myself being gazed down upon by a seemingly annoyed  Joey Ramone. He gently brushed me aside, wordlessly and with Johnny, Marky and CJ in tow, the four Ramones strode past me, took to the stage and belted out their set.

Until a few days ago, I thought that was my “brush with Rock ‘n Roll Greatness.

But it turns out that one of my high school buddies is none other than Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth!…..

What do you mean this isn’t David Lee Roth! Really?

Apparently, this comes as a surprise to some. But it’s true. The man on the left is not Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth, but I did attend high school with him. His name is Dave Kuntz and yes, I hung out with him back in the day. He’s a bit of a “character”, to put it mildly. At the very least he seems to have carved out a lifelong career as a con artist since we left Glenview Park Secondary School in the mid-80s.

It has culminated (so far) in a strange media story of OPP officers outside Brantford Ontario (next town over from our mutual hometown of Cambridge) first reportedly “saving David Lee Roth’s life” as he was attempting to drive himself to the hospital suffering from a peanut allergy, to the news breaking that this really wasn’t DLR at all (gee, ya think?).

The story of Dave, the snatches I have gotten over the years, are not flattering. In the back of my mind I was waiting/bracing for the day when he surfaced as the leader of some thrill kill cult in California. To see him living out his rockstar wannabe impulses as a lower echelon flim-flam man impersonating the rock star’s he’s always wanted to be (people used to call him “David Lee Kuntz”) is almost anti-climactic but for some reason I am strangely relieved that his story has turned farcical rather than Helter-Skelter.

These two news clips of the initial news coverage (before it was revealed that this guy wasn’t David Lee Roth) are worthy of John Stewart / Daily Show media lambasting in light of what we now know.

I don’t know the Dean Hagis guy Dave has been crashing with and whether he really believes DLR has been staying with him or that he’s “going along” with scam. Dave always had a knack for finding gullible people to buy into his delusional fictions. It’s very creepy.